When She Feels Herself Weak
by Crazyaniknowit
Summary: "Mikasa didn't usually do this, they didn't usually. She was pushy, more so than he'd ever seen her, and when she tugged on his shirt, fingers itching to dig beneath the fabric, he knew they'd be going all the way."- An angsty one-shot inspired by a piece of artwork by the same name. Eren x Mikasa. Rated M. Angst. Fluff. Lemon.


**Okay, so, I saw this _FANTASTIC_ drawing on Deviantart (When she feels herself weak. By j-witless) and I was inspired. Lol. I don't know why, but the idea came out kinda angsty. Oh well, enjoy...(I hope?)!**

 **Rating: M for sexual content.**

 **Summary: Sometimes forgetting is easier with a little help.**

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Forget

Mikasa didn't usually do this, _they_ didn't usually. She was pushy, more so than he'd ever seen her, and when she tugged on his shirt, fingers itching to dig beneath the fabric, he knew they'd be going all the way. Today was stressful, losing comrades was normal in the Scouts, but sometimes, the weight of all your losses would come crashing back down on you, and you were overcome with guilt or remorse. For the moment, he let her have her way, despite being just outside the dining hall. He'd followed her out when she seemed on the verge of tears, but the anticipated, comforting discussion he had expected was quickly dismissed.

Mikasa had suddenly hugged him tight, her hair tickling his chin as she shifted against his chest. His arms instinctively wrapped around her in response. She shivered as she looked up at him, her eyes darting from his eyes to his lips. His eyes caught the subtle glint of light on moisture as her tongue wet her own lips. Her hands gripped the collar of his shirt, pulling him down to meet her halfway. He was used to these, the tender, passionate meeting of lips to express emotions that no one wanted to talk about. But this was different.

Her mouth moved against his in a hunger he didn't recognize, and his hand snaked it's way into her hair to tilt her head. She whimpered needily when his tongue began to dance with hers, and her own hands threaded into his dark, brown locks. Her leg hiked up over his waist, and his hand went back around her hips to steady her. Eren's back hit the wall, but he barely noticed, as her other leg was now around his waist and she rolled her hips gently against him.

Eren let out a moan, the sound muffled by her mouth drinking him in. Mikasa couldn't help herself, her bottled up feelings were too much sometimes, but with him, she could forget, if only briefly. When she had just started to feel his arousal he finally broke away, panting heavily and eyes clouded in an inky desire that she'd only seen a few times in them. "Room?" he asked, clearly not wanting to continue just outside the dining hall door.

Mikasa unhooked her legs from his waist and grabbed his hand, walking sideways to the special room they had secluded for themselves over the past months. Her eyes never left Eren's, and as they neared the bedroom he ended up pinning her against the door, unable to resist that spark of lust in her onyx pools. His hand gently moved her maroon scarf and he peppered delicate kisses on her neck, teeth nipping every here and again. Mikasa bit her lip to muffle a moan, her hand fumbling for the doorknob. The door opened and they stumbled inside, too caught up with one another to really notice.

Eren did, however, kick the door shut when they had entered, resuming their position on the opposite side of the wooden structure. Mikasa tugged at his shirt, lips never leaving his and seemingly devouring him, body and soul. He pushed her half-jacket down her shoulders, throwing the garment to some unknown corner of the room to be forgotten. His fingers went straight to the buttons of her shirt afterwards, swiftly and decisively ridding her of it. Mikasa's insistence on his shirt was finally acknowledged and they parted lips only to let him pull it over his head.

Her warm hands were on his bare chest as soon as he had tossed the shirt, her lips caressed his neck, suckling at his pulse point. Eren pushed off from the door and grasped her thighs, lifting her up onto his waist. Her legs instinctively hooked around him and she moved to recapture his lips, both of them moaning when her hips rolled tantalizingly against his arousal. Eren carried her forward, both of them finally falling onto the bed they had prepared for these rare moments. Her boots were gone within an instant, and his own followed shortly. He carefully unraveled the precious scarf from her neck and placed it on the bedpost.

Eren moved to kiss between the valley of her still-clothed breasts, relishing the hitch in her breath as his lips brushed over the soft skin. Her hands tangled in his hair as he kissed lower, his fingers undoing any straps they could find to free her legs from their clothing. Eren unhooked her legs from around his waist and sat up, waiting for her eyes to meet his. When she glanced down at him, he hooked his thumbs under the rim of the pants that clung to her hips, pulling the offending fabric away, underclothing and all.

Mikasa pulled her knees to her chest to aid him as he finally pulled the clothing from her feet, leaving her bared except for her bra. Eren held her leg up, pressing his lips to the soft skin of her ankle, then slowly moving up. His lips brushed along her calves, and she felt her breath hitch yet again as he passed her knee. When he nipped at the inside of her thigh she let out a breathy gasp, and she had to prop her torso up on her elbows to continue watching him. All the while, his eyes hadn't left her face, as if he was anticipating and expecting reactions from her.

When his warm breath touched _her_ , she couldn't help but moan a breathless " _Eren_...". Then, his tongue pressed again her, and she let out a soft cry. Her hand immediately reached to fist in his hair and she fell back, arching into the pillows. He grunted uncomfortably at the pull of his hair, but continued on regardless, humming occasionally. Eren's hands reached under her legs to grasp her hips, pulling her in closer as he pleasured her. Again and again, the flat of his rough tongue against her had her moaning in ecstasy. His hands flexed over her hips and his eyes had fluttered shut, focusing on his actions and the sounds she was making.

Mikasa's cries were cut off as she lost her breath, back arching once again when rapid waves of pleasure came from her core. Eren felt her swollen skin pulse against his tongue and he slowed his ministrations, coming to an eased stop as she came down from her high. She panted heavily, eyes closed as her hands threaded through his hair. Eren moved to hover above her, arms planted on either side of her chest as his lips pressed against her jawline. "Eren..." she breathed in thanks, tilting her head to give him better access to her neck. Her arms reached down between them and worked on the buttons and straps of his pants, and he helped her push the offending cloth away.

He unhooked her bra, finally leaving them both entirely bare to one another. It was a sight both of them already knew well, yet cherished beyond compare to anything else in their miserable lives. His hands brushed over her body, sending chills down her spine, and causing her hair to raise in anticipation. She did the same, fingers running along his back and arms, attempting to memorize the feel of every inch of his skin. For they knew, with the constant threat they faced every day, they may not have the chance again. They had to treasure one another, there was no questioning it.

Unlike the first time they had taken it so far, they were slow, tasting rather than devouring. Eren groaned, pressing into her, and her legs widened impossibly further as he filled her, hooking around his waist to pull him in. Her back arched, pressing her breasts into his chest, and he relished the feeling, burying his face into her neck and inhaling her scent. He would never find anything better than being enveloped by her and driving himself into her to bring them to a delirious high together.

They stayed still for a moment, any movement could wait. Her hands moved to his face, cupping it in her slender fingers. Eren looked into her eyes and finally moved within her, she gasped, lips parting enticingly. He promptly covered her mouth with his own, tongues beginning to dance. He gently pulled out, then back in, increasing pace until he found a rhythm. Her pleasured cries were muffled, and he took his time to savor them. Despite his throbbing need, he pushed in and out of her slowly, drawing it out as long as he could, because once it ended, it might be the last.

Mikasa moved with him, pulling away and pushing back onto him, his hands moving to her hips to help her movements. Before Eren knew why, he was sitting up and pulling her with him. She moaned, long as loud, as gravity helped him reach a new deep within her walls. His hands moved from her hips to the point of her spine between her shoulder blades, pressing her as close as he could to his chest while she moved rhythmically on his lap. The kiss managed to break when she threw her head back in ecstasy, close to her second high of the night. Eren's lips moved to suckle on her pulse point and she let out a final moan, her walls pulsing in an attempt to milk him for all he was worth.

He felt his throat vibrate in a breathy groan as he finally released, bucking his hips erratically once or twice without knowing it. Mikasa gasped with each final thrust, and Eren latched onto her neck, teeth and all. She hummed and wrapped her arms him, eyes fluttering shut and her chest heaving with the effort she had put out that night. Her hand caressed the nape of his neck as they sat there, simply savoring the feeling of being so intimately connected. He shivered, a hand reached up to cover hers, and he finally released her neck with a subtle pop, giving the love mark an apologetic kiss.

The silence lasted for some time, and the adrenaline was allowed to die down. They both were contented to hold one another and sigh, just bathing in the afterglow. Mikasa's reasoning came back to her shortly, however. She felt the back of her eyes sting, and when the first, salty droplet splashed onto Eren's shoulder, he moved from his resting place on her neck and furrowed his brows in concern. "Mikasa...?" he murmured, reaching his hand up to wipe at the tear trail. She hiccuped, failing to bite back her sob, and he pressed his forehead to hers. "Shh..."

She clutched him tighter and let her tears fall, giving up on holding back, "It's okay." Eren whispered, playing with her hair. He felt his own eyes prick with emotion, but he held it back, wanting to be strong for _her_ for once.

Mikasa sniffled and wiped her nose, sitting back, the motion made Eren stiffen and grunt, as they hadn't separated. "I'm sorry." she gave a mirthless smile through her tears.

Eren shook his head, shifting her legs so he could lay back without trapping them under him. "There's nothing to be sorry for." he said, pulling her to lay on his chest. His thumb-pad caressed the scar on her cheek. Mikasa's hand grasped the hand he was using, leaning to nuzzle his palm. Eren pulled the rolled-down blanket up with his toes until he could reach it, and draped it over their bodies. The sweat from their love-making had been cooling, and they started to shiver, so the blanket was welcome.

Mikasa rolled off of him and he turned onto his side to face her, still cupping her cheek in his palm. "It's hard to forget sometimes, or to act indifferent." she whispered, looking into his eyes, "That's part of why I needed this."

Eren smiled just barely, pressing his forehead to hers, "It helps me too." he said, pulling her flush against his chest, his hand rubbing circles on her hip.

Mikasa reached up to wipe the remnants of her tears away, "I love you...I love this..." she murmured, one finger tracing unknown patterns on his chest, "It frightens me. If I love you so much, it will hurt all the more if I lose you..." she paused and furrowed her brow, "It's frightening to love you." she surmised.

Eren listened silently, blinking at her words, at how true they were. "I love you too, Mikasa." he said, letting his mind ponder on the subject for a moment, "But, if we live fearing loss, it'll be harder to appreciate each other while we still have one another. And I can't promise neither of us will ever get hurt, or die, but that's a part of living, life itself is unpredictable."

Mikasa mulled over his words and nodded, "I suppose, even if the world weren't like this, we'd still live in that fear, because there is still sickness and such." she agreed.

"Right." Eren murmured, pressing his lips to her forehead, then her nose - causing her to let out a reluctant giggle - then cheeks, eyes, and finally her lips. Mikasa chuckled quietly into the kiss and wrapped her arms around his neck. Eren pulled her ever closer and entwined his legs with hers, pulling away from her lips with a sigh. "Sleep, Mikasa. We'll stay the night." he said, only closing his eyes when she did.

Usually, they'd go back to the separate men and women's bedrooms. But neither felt like moving, and they needed the comfort of another warm body that night. Mikasa snuggled into the warmth of his chest, smiling at the sensation of his fingers curling into hers. For now, at least they had each other. For how long? They didn't know. But like Eren had said, they could never be rid of risk, so they had to fully appreciate each other while they could. Despite how guilty or remorseful she felt over her comrades, Mikasa acknowledged that she needed to focus on her living comrades, and celebrate their ongoing lives for as long as she could.

She slept peacefully that night, one of the very few good night's sleep she usually got.

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 **How did it go? You likey?**


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